My Best Work
Newfriends start here
Henceforth I’ll use this page to collate my best work in a central location so new subs can figure out my deal without having to spend a bunch of time digging around.
Anyone looking to acquaint himself with Walt Bismarck Thought should first consult the list below. I’ve organized the sections from most important to least, and within each section items are listed chronologically.
Pivotal Works
These are the pieces that truly define me as a thinker; most of the people who have strong feelings about me in either direction were likely motivated by something below.
How the Alt Right Won (Jan 2024) — My retrospective of the Alt Right, which argues that the movement basically achieved its central metapolitical goals. It also explains how I briefly became internet famous in the mid-2010s for my racist Disney parodies.
Why I'm no longer a White Nationalist (Mar 2024) — The essay that originally brought me back as a public figure. It explains why I became less racially motivated in my politics in 2018-2022, and includes my famous screed against the Cornhusker State.
The Pro-White Case for Reparations (Mar 2024) — Argues that American racial politics are consumed by a toxic cycle of resentment and grotesque “racial reckonings,” and proposes we permanently end this cycle through a “Reparations Poison Pill,” in which we offer black people a transactional deal we entirely expect them to break so as to permanently turn squishy moderate white women against them.
The Metapolitics of Black-White Conflict (Mar 2024) — Analyzes the aforementioned cycle in a pro-White fashion that nonetheless attempts to give the black man his honorable due, acknowledging there are always two sides to every story.
Stop Being Mean to Slutty Women (Mar 2024) — Perhaps my most famous piece, and certainly my most controversial. A meandering exploration of sex and status from a right wing perspective, which contends that thot patrolling is usually motivated by status anxiety / ingroup signaling more than any strategic effort toward public virtue.
Women and Liberals Win With Language (Mar 2024) — Explains how women weaponize thirst, vulnerability, and subtextual framing to control narratives and rhetorically outmaneuver men. Claims liberals win because rightists are too overtly masculine in our communicative norms and we ought to exploit these tactics ourselves.
I’m Still Right Wing (Apr 2024) — Explains in detail what my central values are and specifically attempts to differentiate my worldview from that of
, whose coattails I was shamelessly riding at the time as I rebuilt my audience.I Shan’t Shut Up About Slave Morality (May 2024) — My rejoinder to
in defense of vitalism and an aristocratic contempt for social parasitism. Also includes a brief discussion of my current approach to meta-ethics (I embrace a view that rejects both realism and moral nihilism for what I term “intersubjectivism”) and ethics (my system aggressively rejects universalism wholesale in favor of a game theoretic approach to social organization that strongly defends particularist duty bonds).How to Pillage Corporate America (Jun 2024) — Argues rightists (and young white men more generally) are morally entitled to deploy asymmetric and exploitative tactics against sclerotic woke corporations. Explains the idea of “job stacking” (covertly working multiple remote jobs) and offers some advice on how to do it.
How to Castrate the Left (Jun 2024) — My master plan for dismantling the liberal idpol coalition by leveraging transactional negotiation to break off self-interested defectors among key interest groups (white women, young men, Jews, Indian Americans). Pointedly rejects facile “colorblind” politics while advocating that the Right adopt a more pragmatic approach to identity issues.
The Barstool Right (Jun 2024) — Attempts to provide a more robust intellectual framework for “Barstool Conservatism” so self-interested secular straight guys can advocate for their interests (i.e. against puritanism toward vulgarity or large age gaps) and negotiate transactionally with other interest groups on the Right.
The Mindset of Conquered People (July 2024) — A broadside against Vaishnav Sunil and other bootlickers who think themselves “institutionalists” because they instinctively side with power and don’t understand principles of asymmetric conflict. Also a stern rebuttal to WNs who’ve accused The Tortuga Society of being Jew/Pajeet-coded.
What it means to be 'Agentic' (Aug 2024) — A rather masturbatory autobiographical piece that advocates for the strategic exploitation of asymmetric life strategies. Discusses how I cheated my way through high school and started college at fourteen, stopped being an autistic incel by becoming a famous internet racist, sidestepped the vicissitudes of the modern dating market by juicing SeekingArrangement, and became personally wealthy at a young age by leaning into job stacking.
Playing Both Sides (Nov 2024) — Reflects on the demographic realignment that’s played out over the last few decades through the Bush/Obama/Trump coalitions. Also proposes that affluent vitalist White men ought to be swing voters with a powerful faction in each party (much like Jews used to enjoy with the Israel Lobby).
White Nationalism is Anti-White (Dec 2024) — Argues that in pushing for an ethnostate or racial isolationism WNs are rejecting the best aspects of the European character. Lays the foundation for a more transactional approach to Political Whiteness that isn’t hateful / radical, and makes the case for an imperial White Globalism.
Lighter Fare
These fall into two categories: one-off essays that are significant to my thought but narrow in focus, and works of satire intended more to amuse / provoke thought than push an agenda.
The United States needs a new capital (Mar 2024) — Explores the political geometry of America’s population distribution and concludes that a coastal capital is dysfunctional and we need an “American Ankara.” Specifically contends we should move the capital to Cairo, IL—a ghetto on the confluence of the Mississippi and Ohio situated near America’s demographic median. This idea has since gained some traction on X.
Pro-Lifers are murdering babies (Apr 2024) — Shows that prolife maximalism generated a thermostatic backlash that straightforwardly resulted in more babies being aborted, and uses this observation to argue radicals should be held responsible whenever backlash to extremism provides political capital to the other side.
Conservatives suck at art (Apr 2024) — Contends right wingers usually don’t understand what makes good art because of their temperamental proclivity for low openness and high conscientiousness. Critiques most “right wing art” for being overly didactic and kitsch, while admonishing conservatives for policing artists who might otherwise be sympathetic to rightist worldviews over their personal behavior.
Girls are going through puberty too early (Jun 2024) — Demonstrates that endocrine disruptors and dangerous modern lifestyle trends have reduced the age at which most girls begin their period and start to develop breast tissue from roughly 15-16 to 11-12. Argues this is causing trauma on a mass scale as young girls are too immature to handle the inevitable attention they receive from men, and contends this is why Zoomer girls are attracted to sex negative feminism / are becoming trans.
Generational turnover happens by force (Jul 2024) — Argues power and resources usually aren’t given from the old to the young so much as taken by the young from the old. Critiques Gen X for being unable to dethrone the Boomers and contends Millennials are entitled to leverage unconventional tactics to disembowel gerontocracy.
The Nuclear Deterrent to Cancel Culture (Jul 2024) — Argues the Right should leverage parallel institutions like Tortuga to finance legal efforts, and in extreme cases contract with private intelligence firms to doxx and blackmail antifa.
Bentham's Bulldog Should Become a Gay Prostitute (Jul 2024) — Demonstrates that everyone’s favorite Utilitarian is (under his own worldview) morally obliged to sell his bussy to strange men to finance the provisioning of Malaria nets to poor Africans.
Sneering at the Childless (Jul 2024) — Contends it’s unproductive for right wing parents to grandstand or theatrically sneer at childless people, as the vast majority of the latter will eventually have kids anyway, and until then it only alienates them.
Manipulation is Good (Oct 2024) — The opening act to a more introspective turn in my writing, this piece argues it’s morally righteous to help someone become the best version of themselves by leveraging oblique rhetorical tactics to modify their perception of the world in a productive direction. I specifically contend this is a gendered duty women have toward men and maintain that a woman falling into an HR register is far more offensive than being manipulative or even overtly insulting.
Things I like about Black people (Oct 2024) — Initially conceived as a contemporary reimagining of Uncle Jared’s classic article, this piece launched a series of deeply confessional metamodern satirical essays in which I began to experiment with a more literary style. This one remains the most popular of the three and is easily the funniest, detailing the bevy of ways in which our melanated brothas are more virtuous and admirable in their actions than middle class wypipo.
Things I like about women (Oct 2024) — This piece takes on a similar tone to the last but is a bit less lighthearted in that it includes some fairly brutal interrogations of how typical manosphere narratives are short-sighted / overly simplistic (despite typical feminist responses being equally insipid and often flat-out obscurantist). It also includes my first serious attempt at literature in the bedframe passage.
Things I like about chuds (Oct 2024) — A somewhat harsh and dour piece in retrospect, this essay explores the ways in which more straightforward and simpleminded people are more functional and pleasant to be around than bigbrained intellectuals. It also interrogates the different types of status games played in each world.
Narcissism is Good (Nov 2024) — Another deeply deeply angry piece, but this sorely needed to be said. In this tract I broadside the modern tendency to call people you don’t like “narcissist” and pathologize mundane personal conflicts.
Three reasons to support Trump/Kamala (Nov 2024) — Argues the 2024 election basically doesn’t matter, and mostly uses the opportunity to dissect the inexorably thermostatic nature of the American political system, which paradoxically functions as a Chinese Finger Trap where (in the long term) losing is often more effective than winning.
Luigi Mangione should be tortured to death (Dec 2024) — Argues that assassinating some unimportant burgher won’t seriously disrupt extractive corporate power structures, and if we go by the examples of Frick and McKinley will actually provoke a backlash that severely damages labor interests. Contends Brian Thompson was a patsy / sucker more than a predator, and suggests it would be far more productive for Our Guys to fight back against corporate exploitation by scamming the system themselves through organizations like Tortuga.
Artsy-Fartsy
Recently I’ve experimented with a more literary style. Judge the results for yourself.
The Goy Who Lived (Sep 2024) — A trve story in which poor Walter Bismarck is conned by a crafty Son of Israel, only to somehow end up *less* antisemitic as a consequence. Learn how I extracted revenge on the Nebraskan Hobbit-Kings who impugned my sacred honor, how I schemed my way into a high-flying career at Deloitte, and how I eventually grew my teeth in a brutal legal knife fight against the mensch I now recognize as my single greatest business mentor.
Walking to Publix (Oct 2024) — A tale in which I walk to the grocery store to buy some soap. Along the way I reflect on past experiences while contemplating the limits of asymmetric strategies and the sheer inevitability of performative authenticity.
Confessions of an "exhausting" man (Oct 2024) — An experimental piece further interrogating my frustrations with performative authenticity and in particular the tendency of women to say I “exhaust” them. I conclude this one by commanding ChatGPT to take on the persona of Dasha Nekrasova and bully me a bit, as a treat.
Eternally Tortured Piglet (Oct 2024) — Yet another experiment in which I explore the limits of ChatGPT by interacting with simulations of characters from Winnie the Pooh. In this real AI conversation I blackmail Piglet with the threat of having an AGI version of himself tortured in a maximally painful “Piglet Hell,” flatter Owl into explaining proprietary details about ChatGPT’s internal controls, flirt a bit with Kanga, and even trick Tigger into saying a racial slur.
Women Don't Have Agency (Nov 2024) — A somewhat tortured exploration of why men can’t really hold women accountable for their actions in practice, presented against the narrative backdrop of my relationship with a gorgeous alcoholic Jewess who I was moderately certain I’d marry at various points over the past few months. After you read this one you should also check out Nina Power’s moving follow-up piece defending the insane fellers who obsessively chase after troubled BPD girls.
Cricket’s Boogers (Dec 2024) — A poem about my cat Cricket, who’s tragically afflicted with Feline Herpes which causes him to constantly have boogers falling out of his nose while making gross noises like Brainy from Hey Arnold. The piece also bemoans the fungibility of girls I dated during my Fuckboy Era and touches on a former best friend of mine who killed herself.
Podcasts
In addition to my writing I’m a fairly active podcaster. Here are some of my best episodes.
My appearance on a rationalist pod to debate WN and the legacy of the Alt Right with
andMy appearance on Millenniyule 2024 (with
)Locker Room Talk with
and (this one begins as a debate regarding how explicit we should be when discussing sexual matters, but rapidly evolves into a deeply candid exchange over our own experiences with women and sex… read a great analysis of the convo here)The Brahmin Question with
Horror, Art, and Identity with Kirsty (come back fam!)
Asian Affairs with
What shall we do with incel orcs? with
Interviewing my seventeen year-old intern with
WRP #49 - Fantastic talk with
about the recent attempt to cancel her, the RxFem impulse, and the influence of tech on maladaptive social trends- about her recent alienation from the DR
WRP #14 — I debate
, who eloquently makes the case for a more nationalist brand of identitarianism than what I’m pushing.WRP #20 — I have a truly incredible four hour discussion with Noah Revoy, my longtime mentor and coach. Highly suggest everyone check this one out.
WRP #24 — A spirited debate with Gordon Kahl, a midwestern White Nationalist whose own podcast had roasted my article about Nebraska.
WRP #26 — I hash out the JQ with Based Jew friend
Original Songs
Most people probably still know the name “Walt Bismarck” as the song parodist from 2015. Thankfully the emergence of new AI tools has enabled me to explore this side of myself for the first time in years. Eventually I’ll compile some of the pieces below into a cabaret-style revue.
The "wALt RiGht" is FAKE and GAY.
A hAnANiA-supported deradicalization op meant to DISTRACT/CONFUSE/ENTERTAIN smart but politically naive young white men (who may otherwise discover the True Path).
This capable shill dangles the baubles of safe-edgy AI titillation and "eLiTe HuMaN cApiTaL" like a sort of higher-IQ thirst trap designed ultimately as a means for self-enrichment.
If you happen to be in the specific phase of personal growth "walts" strategy is designed to exploit, realize that you will eventually grow out of it or, better yet, WILL YOURSELF to skip it all together.
Simply as a friendly suggestion, read instead the introduction to Zarathustra a few times and reflect on it, or try out a Joel Davis interview.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM4EGFb6vqA
You are the future of the White Race. Strive! Expand Yourself! Be HARD!!!
Good Luck!
This is cool Walt.
Do you think you could also include your 'Uncuck the Right' songs?