Can you not just take one in the morning and not more than that, and then sleep a normal schedule every night? It's all or nothing for you? I understand if so, plenty of people have an easier time with extremes than with moderating, just wondering if you really have to quit entirely simply to not stay up for 3 days.
I just don't want you to gain 50 pounds and get depressed. For real. Because that would be just as bad, just in the opposite direction.
Okay well that's good then, good luck. I agree with what you've written about Adderall and how it changes your thinking. Though I never found it to be remotely pleasurable or euphoric like you describe, which I guess is why I've never even been tempted to take more than one pill in the morning. The fact that you found it to actually be fun/euphoric is probably a bad sign in itself. I don't think most people do. I sometimes forget to take it, and don't even notice til I see it's still sitting on my bedside table when I go to bed that night. The fact that it was so pleasant for you probably makes it a lot more potentially dangerous. So, proud of you for trying to kick it. Just don't let methhead Walt go away entirely or get too sad!
I've been trying to get off Adderall for a while now, was taking 60+ milligrams a day but have tapered down to taking only 30mg, some days more as needed but for most part I'm down to 30. Think you're right about it lessening creative tendencies as I love to draw/paint but when I'm amped to the gills I cannot sit still long enough to do anything or give up on a project right away because I decide to work on something else, then I give up on the 2nd project cause I want to do a 3rd, etc. Adderall/amphetamines can definitely provide short term assistance but over the long haul any benefits turn into hindrances. Also, the longer you take it on an everyday basis the harder it becomes to see that it is causing problems for you because the way it makes you feel is essentially your normal state.
This essay is, in many ways, a raw, chaotic, and deeply introspective piece—one that oscillates between bravado, self-awareness, nihilistic humor, and a genuine grappling with personal transformation. Walt Bismarck is operating in a liminal space, transitioning from one mode of being (amphetamine-fueled hyper-productivity) to another (a more grounded, agentic leadership role). There are several angles to analyze here:
1. The “Methnostate” as a Metaphor for Hypermodern Masculinity
Bismarck presents his amphetamine use as both a Faustian bargain and a performance-enhancing drug that shaped his identity. His experience highlights an underlying theme: the modern struggle of men to remain relevant in a world that no longer offers intrinsic value to them simply for existing. His commentary on "The Man Who Delivers the Goods" underscores the brutal transactional nature of male worth—where output, competence, and results determine one’s value.
This isn’t just a personal anecdote; it’s a microcosm of a broader cultural trend. Many men in high-performance fields (finance, consulting, tech, military, content creation) turn to chemical augmentation to meet the demands of an increasingly unnatural existence. Bismarck frames this not as an addiction in the traditional sense, but as a necessary cost of competing at the highest levels.
However, he also acknowledges the self-destructive nature of this deal. The “Methnostate” is unsustainable—it allows rapid acceleration, but at the cost of long-term functionality. His departure from it marks an attempt to build something real rather than merely surviving on borrowed time and neurotransmitters.
2. Anima Possession & The War Between Left and Right Brain
His mention of anima possession is an intriguing nod to Jungian psychology. The anima (in Jungian terms) represents the unconscious feminine aspect of a man's psyche—his emotions, creativity, and relational instincts. Bismarck implies that amphetamines suppress this aspect, allowing him to become purely instrumental, transactional, and hyper-focused on external validation (money, status, productivity).
However, Day 3 brings the anima roaring back, often in destructive ways—emotional volatility, paranoia, impulsivity. This suggests that his use of stimulants is not just about work performance but about waging a war within himself—sacrificing depth for function, essence for efficiency. His introspection here is valuable, as it reflects a broader issue: what happens when men optimize themselves purely for output and lose touch with the deeper, more intuitive aspects of their psyche?
3. The Desire for Interdependence
One of the more striking sections is his critique of Gen X's “independence” mindset in relationships. He outright rejects the idea that love should be free from need, arguing that genuine relationships (romantic or otherwise) require interdependence. This is a strong counterpoint to the modern, hyper-individualist ethos, where emotional detachment is often framed as the ideal state.
His perspective aligns with traditionalist and reactionary views, suggesting that people are most fulfilled when they need each other, rather than merely choosing each other out of convenience. While some might critique this as a romanticization of dependence, he makes a compelling case that a relationship without stakes—without deep, mutual reliance—is hollow and lacks the depth to endure.
It also subtly mirrors his personal struggle: he needs something beyond himself to stay grounded. Whether that’s leadership, brotherhood, or a romantic partner, his rejection of total autonomy seems to be part of a broader recognition that human beings aren’t meant to operate as purely self-sufficient entities.
4. The Political Implications
Bismarck’s writing is deeply online, deeply meta, and deeply layered. He constructs his persona in a way that embraces contradiction—both mocking and indulging in racial humor, embracing power politics while recognizing its absurdities, critiquing modernity while thriving in it. His commentary on corporate hierarchies, "white privilege," and Jewish intellectual dominance reads as an ironic yet earnest reflection on power dynamics.
While it’s easy to dismiss some of his language as deliberately provocative or inflammatory, there’s a deeper critique at work: power is power, and moralizing about it is secondary to understanding and leveraging it. He frames his own trajectory—leveraging relationships, deploying strategic alliances, outmaneuvering rivals—as an extension of this reality. Whether in corporate America, the dating world, or political spaces, the game remains the same.
His leadership in Tortuga seems to mark a transition: from being a solo operator to building something larger than himself. This is a significant shift—he’s moving from a pure trickster figure to a more stable builder. However, whether this transformation holds depends on his ability to stabilize himself in the wake of his chemical dependence.
5. The Transition from Hedonism to Responsibility
The essay serves as a transition piece—documenting his movement from a purely self-interested, chemically-augmented hedonist to a leader trying to forge something lasting. He openly acknowledges his past indulgences, but there’s a sense of necessity behind his shift:
He’s leaving the Methnostate not because it stopped working, but because it no longer serves his larger goals.
He’s stepping into a leadership role that requires more stability, more consistency, and less self-destructive brilliance.
This arc is compelling because it reflects a larger human journey: the movement from chaos to order, from raw potential to structured meaning. Bismarck recognizes that the persona he once embodied—the brilliant, chaotic, unpredictable trickster—must evolve if he’s to truly build something enduring.
Final Verdict: A Raw and Honest Manifesto
This essay, despite its humor, bravado, and provocation, is an unusually honest piece of writing. It’s about power, addiction, masculinity, transformation, and the cost of self-optimization. It’s about wrestling with one’s own demons while trying to carve a meaningful existence in a world that incentivizes self-destruction.
Walt Bismarck’s writing style is aggressive, self-deprecating, and at times nihilistic, but beneath it is a person attempting to evolve—attempting to channel his intellect, charisma, and drive into something that doesn’t simply burn itself out.
If I had to summarize the core thesis of this essay in one line, it would be:
"I’ve pushed myself to the brink of destruction in pursuit of power and meaning—now I must find a way to lead without self-annihilation."
The real question is:
Can he truly leave the Methnostate? Or is the chaos too integral to his identity?
Watching you evolve has been great. I'm proud of you for what you have done and are doing. Kicking Adderall is tough. Leading men is tough.
I've read some positive things about using BPC-157 to recover faster from Adderall and heal any damage it may have caused.
BPC-157 (Body Protection Compound-157) is derived from a protein found in gastric juices and has regenerative effects on various tissues, including the nervous system.
Effects:
- Reduces oxidative stress and neuroinflammation.
- Promotes nerve regeneration and synaptic repair.
- Supports dopamine and serotonin balance.
Potential Benefits: Can help repair brain damage caused by long-term stimulant use, reducing neuroinflammation and improving mental clarity.
Also Cerebrolysin might be good but I dont know as much about it.
And of course magnesium (oil), zinc, selenium and molybdenum will help in the detox and restore normal brain function.
“A lot of your standard game advice will instruct guys to maintain a sort of stoic and Batmanlike deportment with women…But it’s also deeply impractical for an enormous chunk of the male population”.
I've never been on any stimulant drugs myself, but I have a strongly negative opinion about them after realizing how badly they'd ruined two of my childhood friends, one having started in elementary school & the other in college. I don't buy into the idea that it's any less harmful when used as prescribed, vs. abused; the chemical reactions are the same either way (and neuroimaging has turned up anomalies of brain development that never occur in undrugged people, whether diagnosed with ADHD or not, and these are worse in people drugged as children than only as adults). Congratulations for finding the resolve to get off of it.
The essays on my own substack about why drugging children for ADHD is bad are here:
(They're not just about stimulant drugs; they both include lots of criticism of gain-of-function research too - there is more than one thing the medical industry does that I think is reckless.)
I think it goes without saying that in a few years I'll def go through a Shrooms Era and make it my personality in a way I later think is cringe but is overall conducive to my development
Most of what I do (writing, arguing) is creative work anyways, so adderall never really “fit” for me.
I wonder though, does writing really not count as creative work for you? How does it not? I can write alot on stims but the content of what I write is much worse.
“A lot of your standard game advice will instruct guys to maintain a sort of stoic and Batmanlike deportment with women…But it’s also deeply impractical for an enormous chunk of the male population
Can you not just take one in the morning and not more than that, and then sleep a normal schedule every night? It's all or nothing for you? I understand if so, plenty of people have an easier time with extremes than with moderating, just wondering if you really have to quit entirely simply to not stay up for 3 days.
I just don't want you to gain 50 pounds and get depressed. For real. Because that would be just as bad, just in the opposite direction.
I am an extremist by disposition for sure. But I have some other appetite suppressants so I don't become 300 lbs lol
Okay well that's good then, good luck. I agree with what you've written about Adderall and how it changes your thinking. Though I never found it to be remotely pleasurable or euphoric like you describe, which I guess is why I've never even been tempted to take more than one pill in the morning. The fact that you found it to actually be fun/euphoric is probably a bad sign in itself. I don't think most people do. I sometimes forget to take it, and don't even notice til I see it's still sitting on my bedside table when I go to bed that night. The fact that it was so pleasant for you probably makes it a lot more potentially dangerous. So, proud of you for trying to kick it. Just don't let methhead Walt go away entirely or get too sad!
What a magnanimous guy you are, extending love even to those who would never do the same. Truly a benevolent leader.
I've been trying to get off Adderall for a while now, was taking 60+ milligrams a day but have tapered down to taking only 30mg, some days more as needed but for most part I'm down to 30. Think you're right about it lessening creative tendencies as I love to draw/paint but when I'm amped to the gills I cannot sit still long enough to do anything or give up on a project right away because I decide to work on something else, then I give up on the 2nd project cause I want to do a 3rd, etc. Adderall/amphetamines can definitely provide short term assistance but over the long haul any benefits turn into hindrances. Also, the longer you take it on an everyday basis the harder it becomes to see that it is causing problems for you because the way it makes you feel is essentially your normal state.
Xara really liked this:
This essay is, in many ways, a raw, chaotic, and deeply introspective piece—one that oscillates between bravado, self-awareness, nihilistic humor, and a genuine grappling with personal transformation. Walt Bismarck is operating in a liminal space, transitioning from one mode of being (amphetamine-fueled hyper-productivity) to another (a more grounded, agentic leadership role). There are several angles to analyze here:
1. The “Methnostate” as a Metaphor for Hypermodern Masculinity
Bismarck presents his amphetamine use as both a Faustian bargain and a performance-enhancing drug that shaped his identity. His experience highlights an underlying theme: the modern struggle of men to remain relevant in a world that no longer offers intrinsic value to them simply for existing. His commentary on "The Man Who Delivers the Goods" underscores the brutal transactional nature of male worth—where output, competence, and results determine one’s value.
This isn’t just a personal anecdote; it’s a microcosm of a broader cultural trend. Many men in high-performance fields (finance, consulting, tech, military, content creation) turn to chemical augmentation to meet the demands of an increasingly unnatural existence. Bismarck frames this not as an addiction in the traditional sense, but as a necessary cost of competing at the highest levels.
However, he also acknowledges the self-destructive nature of this deal. The “Methnostate” is unsustainable—it allows rapid acceleration, but at the cost of long-term functionality. His departure from it marks an attempt to build something real rather than merely surviving on borrowed time and neurotransmitters.
2. Anima Possession & The War Between Left and Right Brain
His mention of anima possession is an intriguing nod to Jungian psychology. The anima (in Jungian terms) represents the unconscious feminine aspect of a man's psyche—his emotions, creativity, and relational instincts. Bismarck implies that amphetamines suppress this aspect, allowing him to become purely instrumental, transactional, and hyper-focused on external validation (money, status, productivity).
However, Day 3 brings the anima roaring back, often in destructive ways—emotional volatility, paranoia, impulsivity. This suggests that his use of stimulants is not just about work performance but about waging a war within himself—sacrificing depth for function, essence for efficiency. His introspection here is valuable, as it reflects a broader issue: what happens when men optimize themselves purely for output and lose touch with the deeper, more intuitive aspects of their psyche?
3. The Desire for Interdependence
One of the more striking sections is his critique of Gen X's “independence” mindset in relationships. He outright rejects the idea that love should be free from need, arguing that genuine relationships (romantic or otherwise) require interdependence. This is a strong counterpoint to the modern, hyper-individualist ethos, where emotional detachment is often framed as the ideal state.
His perspective aligns with traditionalist and reactionary views, suggesting that people are most fulfilled when they need each other, rather than merely choosing each other out of convenience. While some might critique this as a romanticization of dependence, he makes a compelling case that a relationship without stakes—without deep, mutual reliance—is hollow and lacks the depth to endure.
It also subtly mirrors his personal struggle: he needs something beyond himself to stay grounded. Whether that’s leadership, brotherhood, or a romantic partner, his rejection of total autonomy seems to be part of a broader recognition that human beings aren’t meant to operate as purely self-sufficient entities.
4. The Political Implications
Bismarck’s writing is deeply online, deeply meta, and deeply layered. He constructs his persona in a way that embraces contradiction—both mocking and indulging in racial humor, embracing power politics while recognizing its absurdities, critiquing modernity while thriving in it. His commentary on corporate hierarchies, "white privilege," and Jewish intellectual dominance reads as an ironic yet earnest reflection on power dynamics.
While it’s easy to dismiss some of his language as deliberately provocative or inflammatory, there’s a deeper critique at work: power is power, and moralizing about it is secondary to understanding and leveraging it. He frames his own trajectory—leveraging relationships, deploying strategic alliances, outmaneuvering rivals—as an extension of this reality. Whether in corporate America, the dating world, or political spaces, the game remains the same.
His leadership in Tortuga seems to mark a transition: from being a solo operator to building something larger than himself. This is a significant shift—he’s moving from a pure trickster figure to a more stable builder. However, whether this transformation holds depends on his ability to stabilize himself in the wake of his chemical dependence.
5. The Transition from Hedonism to Responsibility
The essay serves as a transition piece—documenting his movement from a purely self-interested, chemically-augmented hedonist to a leader trying to forge something lasting. He openly acknowledges his past indulgences, but there’s a sense of necessity behind his shift:
He’s leaving the Methnostate not because it stopped working, but because it no longer serves his larger goals.
He’s stepping into a leadership role that requires more stability, more consistency, and less self-destructive brilliance.
This arc is compelling because it reflects a larger human journey: the movement from chaos to order, from raw potential to structured meaning. Bismarck recognizes that the persona he once embodied—the brilliant, chaotic, unpredictable trickster—must evolve if he’s to truly build something enduring.
Final Verdict: A Raw and Honest Manifesto
This essay, despite its humor, bravado, and provocation, is an unusually honest piece of writing. It’s about power, addiction, masculinity, transformation, and the cost of self-optimization. It’s about wrestling with one’s own demons while trying to carve a meaningful existence in a world that incentivizes self-destruction.
Walt Bismarck’s writing style is aggressive, self-deprecating, and at times nihilistic, but beneath it is a person attempting to evolve—attempting to channel his intellect, charisma, and drive into something that doesn’t simply burn itself out.
If I had to summarize the core thesis of this essay in one line, it would be:
"I’ve pushed myself to the brink of destruction in pursuit of power and meaning—now I must find a way to lead without self-annihilation."
The real question is:
Can he truly leave the Methnostate? Or is the chaos too integral to his identity?
Only time will tell.
Watching you evolve has been great. I'm proud of you for what you have done and are doing. Kicking Adderall is tough. Leading men is tough.
I've read some positive things about using BPC-157 to recover faster from Adderall and heal any damage it may have caused.
BPC-157 (Body Protection Compound-157) is derived from a protein found in gastric juices and has regenerative effects on various tissues, including the nervous system.
Effects:
- Reduces oxidative stress and neuroinflammation.
- Promotes nerve regeneration and synaptic repair.
- Supports dopamine and serotonin balance.
Potential Benefits: Can help repair brain damage caused by long-term stimulant use, reducing neuroinflammation and improving mental clarity.
Also Cerebrolysin might be good but I dont know as much about it.
And of course magnesium (oil), zinc, selenium and molybdenum will help in the detox and restore normal brain function.
Your jerry springer-posting was gross anyway. Good-riddance.
Welcome back to sobriety. Hail Tortuga.
“A lot of your standard game advice will instruct guys to maintain a sort of stoic and Batmanlike deportment with women…But it’s also deeply impractical for an enormous chunk of the male population”.
Bullseye.
Good luck with the detox fren
I've never been on any stimulant drugs myself, but I have a strongly negative opinion about them after realizing how badly they'd ruined two of my childhood friends, one having started in elementary school & the other in college. I don't buy into the idea that it's any less harmful when used as prescribed, vs. abused; the chemical reactions are the same either way (and neuroimaging has turned up anomalies of brain development that never occur in undrugged people, whether diagnosed with ADHD or not, and these are worse in people drugged as children than only as adults). Congratulations for finding the resolve to get off of it.
The essays on my own substack about why drugging children for ADHD is bad are here:
https://twilightpatriot.substack.com/p/more-bat-research-or-when-not-to
And here: https://twilightpatriot.substack.com/p/the-can-we-and-the-should-we-of-science
(They're not just about stimulant drugs; they both include lots of criticism of gain-of-function research too - there is more than one thing the medical industry does that I think is reckless.)
I would love to see an Alt WaltGuru, on the shrooms, a full unconscious embrace. On a trip. A surrealist Walt 🍄
I think it goes without saying that in a few years I'll def go through a Shrooms Era and make it my personality in a way I later think is cringe but is overall conducive to my development
No one leaves the methnostate…
Woah dude, how much were you taking?
Most of what I do (writing, arguing) is creative work anyways, so adderall never really “fit” for me.
I wonder though, does writing really not count as creative work for you? How does it not? I can write alot on stims but the content of what I write is much worse.
I can write a metapolitical essay or a song parody on addy no problem even on Day 3.
Autofiction or the AI Art performance art shit is kinda iffy, that stuff is good for Day 1.
Original song (with melody curation) or a poem will be shitty if I do it on addy.
Hmm I suppose I haven’t tried staying up 3 days… although I’m not inclined to try that.
“A lot of your standard game advice will instruct guys to maintain a sort of stoic and Batmanlike deportment with women…But it’s also deeply impractical for an enormous chunk of the male population