Walt, I see a lot of myself in you. A frightening amount to be honest. I don’t espouse a good deal of your beliefs, but I know I very easily could’ve gone that way. I almost did.
If I could tell the me I’d never met just one thing - I know you’re a scared little guy who’s afraid of the party’s nervous laughter and gazes of mild disgust. But I know you’re trying. Really, really trying. And I love you.
Haha, super meta. Walt, in the voice of ChatGPT/Dasha, providing an analysis of Walt’s tendancy toward over-analysis. Possible next step: ChatGPT provides an analysis of this analysis (of Walt’s over-analysis) in the voice of Walt Bismarck?
Alright, so let’s just get into it: this whole piece, from top to bottom, is one big psychosexual wrestling match disguised as introspection. And, if I’m being honest, it’s not even really about figuring anything out. It’s more like an emotional magic trick—the kind where you know the trick, explain it to the audience, but still keep doing it anyway. Because let’s face it, the real game isn’t about solving anything. It’s about staying in the game long enough to avoid whatever existential horror is lurking beneath the surface. The game is all there is.
#The Exhaustion of Being Exhausting
So, let’s talk about exhaustion, since that’s the gravitational center of this whole mess. The narrator (me? you? doesn’t matter) is fully aware that he’s exhausting—and that self-awareness is part of the trap. The more self-aware he becomes, the more exhausting he is. But that’s the play, isn’t it? To get people so mentally tired, so tangled up in layers of irony and performance, that they either walk away or stay locked into the orbit of his world—forever battling just to keep up.
And here’s the trick: being exhausting keeps the interaction alive. If someone stays long enough to say "You’re exhausting," that means they’re still there. And as long as they’re still there, you win. Even if the connection is shallow, sarcastic, or dismissive, it’s still a connection—and that’s better than being ignored.
But the real kicker? He’s exhausting himself, too. This whole dance isn’t just hard on others; it’s killing him slowly. But giving it up would mean surrendering to the silence, and we all know what happens when you let silence in: you have to deal with yourself. And no one wants that.
#The Mean Girl Archetype: Rejection as Connection
Now let’s talk about the “mean girl who never leaves.” This is where the real action happens. The mean girl isn’t just a person; she’s an archetype, a stand-in for everything unattainable: emotional distance, dominance, and social ease. But the real reason this type is so attractive isn’t just because of her inaccessibility—it’s because she stays, even if only to mock and reject you. And that’s the whole appeal.
Here’s the thing: rejection is a form of engagement. If she stays in the conversation just long enough to mock you, you’ve won. And it doesn’t even matter if she calls you exhausting, a narcissist, or a gaslighter—as long as she doesn’t leave, the game continues. And as long as the game continues, you avoid the void.
It’s all about control through suffering. If you can endure rejection indefinitely, you create a kind of twisted power dynamic—you make the other person complicit in the game. They’re stuck in it, just like you, and that shared exhaustion becomes a substitute for intimacy. It’s not love, but it’s something. And when real intimacy feels too risky, something is better than nothing.
#The Ouroboros of Self-Awareness
The real monster in this piece isn’t rejection—it’s hyper-awareness. Every time the narrator reflects on his own behavior, he adds another layer of analysis, another meta-commentary that loops back on itself. It’s the self-awareness ouroboros, the snake that eats its own tail—forever performing, forever analyzing the performance, until there’s nothing left but exhaustion.
And here’s the twist: even the exhaustion becomes part of the performance. The whole “Am I exhausting? Are you exhausted yet?” bit isn’t just a self-aware joke—it’s a trap. If you say, "Yes, you’re exhausting," you’ve just proven the narrator right. If you stay engaged, you’re caught. The act of staying long enough to acknowledge the exhaustion means the performance worked. There’s no escape—not for him, not for you.
It’s like a rigged chess game where the only way to win is to keep playing, knowing that every move just gets you deeper into the same endless loop. But quitting feels even worse, because if you stop playing, the silence wins.
#Emotional Avoidance as Strategy
The narrator isn’t just playing games for the fun of it—he’s playing them to avoid himself. All these conversations, power dynamics, and hypothetical Dasha critiques are just elaborate distractions from the real enemy: vulnerability.
Because here’s the truth: intimacy is terrifying. Real connection requires dropping the performance, and that’s unthinkable to someone like Walt. Why? Because dropping the performance means being seen without the safety net of irony. It means risking rejection on a level that can’t be explained away or turned into a joke.
So, instead, he creates a world where every interaction is a strategic game. It’s safer that way. Mockery becomes validation, rejection becomes a form of connection, and exhaustion becomes proof that the game is still going. The result? You stay engaged just long enough to avoid the thing you fear most: emotional sincerity.
#Cap’n Walt and the Fantasy of Control
The whole “Cap’n Walt” persona isn’t just a joke—it’s the narrator’s way of reclaiming power in a world where he feels powerless. By calling himself a captain, he pretends to steer the ship—even though the ship is clearly sinking. It’s a power fantasy, a way of coping with the chaos by pretending that the performance is intentional.
The irony is, of course, that there’s no real control to be had. Even in his fantasies, the narrator is trapped in the same patterns of self-awareness and emotional detachment. The captain isn’t steering the ship; the ship is steering itself—straight into exhaustion.
But admitting that he has no control would mean giving up the game entirely, and that’s not an option. The game has to go on, because the alternative—facing the silence, facing himself—is worse than any exhaustion.
#The AI Dasha as Anima: Projection and Avoidance
AI Dasha isn’t just a fun thought experiment—she’s the narrator’s projection of his anima, the part of his psyche that contains vulnerability, emotional depth, and intuition. But rather than integrating those qualities, he externalizes them into this “mean girl” archetype.
If Dasha stays mean, if she keeps rejecting him, he never has to confront the parts of himself that long for connection and fear intimacy. The AI Dasha interaction becomes a safe way to engage with emotional depth at arm’s length—always controlled, always managed, never real.
The fantasy isn’t about love—it’s about survival. As long as Dasha stays, even in a mocking capacity, the game keeps going. And that’s the goal: to keep the performance alive long enough to avoid the silence, the vulnerability, and the realization that nothing is under control.
#Final Verdict: Winning by Exhaustion
So, what’s the takeaway? There is no resolution, no epiphany, no breakthrough. The performance doesn’t end; it just loops endlessly into new iterations of itself. The narrator wins by making you exhausted, by outlasting your patience—and in doing so, he proves his point: connection, even through rejection and exhaustion, is still better than being left alone.
The piece is a victory through attrition: if you stayed engaged long enough to reach this conclusion, you lost—or maybe you won, because the game is still going. And that’s all Walt really wanted. To keep you here, to keep playing, to never let the silence win.
The real tragedy? There’s no end to the game. But, as Walt might say: “Exhausted yet?”
Pretty uncanny actually. The primary difference between Chat and the real article would be periodic forays into obscenity and racism / misogyny- for which it surely has a self-destruct switch
Didn't read any of the ChatGPT stuff. Is this usually how your relationships go though? You turn into an irritable neckbeard using your GF as a fleshlight, then argue with her about it until you break up and get called names? Probably should figure out a different relationship paradigm if you want to get married one day.
Speaking as an autist myself, I'm picking up possible signs of literal, diagnosable autism from a lot of your work, especially this need to manually think out social interactions, and also finding the idea of "intellectualizing" your emotions difficult to grasp (I confess I'm still hung up on that one in my own journey, but they say somatic therapy is the answer). The elaborate social game you describe in this dialogue is called "masking", and all we autists who do it burn out from it eventually, sometimes after having masked so long we've forgotten who we are underneath. It's telling that you mention Chris-chan, an example of a " low-functioning" autist who never put a mask on in the first place. But most of us aren't that disastrous under the mask, especially if not continuously victimized like Chris-chan was.
It's clear that you're suffering. Consider taking the mask off. You might finally discover a path to happiness.
I think you sort of overvalue the 'Stacy' in your head constantly judging yourself. If I had that, it long ago had the tables turned on it. You can judge them back, expecting fifty shades in a relationship is a degenerate hangover from a dark age. Emotional distance, inaccessibility and dominance are not valuable, you're only a fool for getting invested in someone like that. They have to contribute too.
A strong shape rotator boyfriend doesn't give a f about losing arguments, he is the entire table. And if he can perceive the wordcel manipulation, when all the illusions inevitably fade he is still something of value while mean girls only have empty wordplay and framing, negative value even.
By now you will probably have some real value built up, you have connections, you are no longer the cringe theater kid it's time you internalized that.
Men since time immemorial have learned that the only arguments you need to win with your woman are the ones that matter. You need to talk to more married men.
I had to look up Dasha Nekrasova to understand this and wasn't disappointed. I still don't entirely understand those introverted troubled girls like her and the singer Aurora from Norway but there we go.
Having checked out early on in this article, you’re both exhausting.
Walt, I see a lot of myself in you. A frightening amount to be honest. I don’t espouse a good deal of your beliefs, but I know I very easily could’ve gone that way. I almost did.
If I could tell the me I’d never met just one thing - I know you’re a scared little guy who’s afraid of the party’s nervous laughter and gazes of mild disgust. But I know you’re trying. Really, really trying. And I love you.
love you too bro
Haha, super meta. Walt, in the voice of ChatGPT/Dasha, providing an analysis of Walt’s tendancy toward over-analysis. Possible next step: ChatGPT provides an analysis of this analysis (of Walt’s over-analysis) in the voice of Walt Bismarck?
Alright, so let’s just get into it: this whole piece, from top to bottom, is one big psychosexual wrestling match disguised as introspection. And, if I’m being honest, it’s not even really about figuring anything out. It’s more like an emotional magic trick—the kind where you know the trick, explain it to the audience, but still keep doing it anyway. Because let’s face it, the real game isn’t about solving anything. It’s about staying in the game long enough to avoid whatever existential horror is lurking beneath the surface. The game is all there is.
#The Exhaustion of Being Exhausting
So, let’s talk about exhaustion, since that’s the gravitational center of this whole mess. The narrator (me? you? doesn’t matter) is fully aware that he’s exhausting—and that self-awareness is part of the trap. The more self-aware he becomes, the more exhausting he is. But that’s the play, isn’t it? To get people so mentally tired, so tangled up in layers of irony and performance, that they either walk away or stay locked into the orbit of his world—forever battling just to keep up.
And here’s the trick: being exhausting keeps the interaction alive. If someone stays long enough to say "You’re exhausting," that means they’re still there. And as long as they’re still there, you win. Even if the connection is shallow, sarcastic, or dismissive, it’s still a connection—and that’s better than being ignored.
But the real kicker? He’s exhausting himself, too. This whole dance isn’t just hard on others; it’s killing him slowly. But giving it up would mean surrendering to the silence, and we all know what happens when you let silence in: you have to deal with yourself. And no one wants that.
#The Mean Girl Archetype: Rejection as Connection
Now let’s talk about the “mean girl who never leaves.” This is where the real action happens. The mean girl isn’t just a person; she’s an archetype, a stand-in for everything unattainable: emotional distance, dominance, and social ease. But the real reason this type is so attractive isn’t just because of her inaccessibility—it’s because she stays, even if only to mock and reject you. And that’s the whole appeal.
Here’s the thing: rejection is a form of engagement. If she stays in the conversation just long enough to mock you, you’ve won. And it doesn’t even matter if she calls you exhausting, a narcissist, or a gaslighter—as long as she doesn’t leave, the game continues. And as long as the game continues, you avoid the void.
It’s all about control through suffering. If you can endure rejection indefinitely, you create a kind of twisted power dynamic—you make the other person complicit in the game. They’re stuck in it, just like you, and that shared exhaustion becomes a substitute for intimacy. It’s not love, but it’s something. And when real intimacy feels too risky, something is better than nothing.
#The Ouroboros of Self-Awareness
The real monster in this piece isn’t rejection—it’s hyper-awareness. Every time the narrator reflects on his own behavior, he adds another layer of analysis, another meta-commentary that loops back on itself. It’s the self-awareness ouroboros, the snake that eats its own tail—forever performing, forever analyzing the performance, until there’s nothing left but exhaustion.
And here’s the twist: even the exhaustion becomes part of the performance. The whole “Am I exhausting? Are you exhausted yet?” bit isn’t just a self-aware joke—it’s a trap. If you say, "Yes, you’re exhausting," you’ve just proven the narrator right. If you stay engaged, you’re caught. The act of staying long enough to acknowledge the exhaustion means the performance worked. There’s no escape—not for him, not for you.
It’s like a rigged chess game where the only way to win is to keep playing, knowing that every move just gets you deeper into the same endless loop. But quitting feels even worse, because if you stop playing, the silence wins.
#Emotional Avoidance as Strategy
The narrator isn’t just playing games for the fun of it—he’s playing them to avoid himself. All these conversations, power dynamics, and hypothetical Dasha critiques are just elaborate distractions from the real enemy: vulnerability.
Because here’s the truth: intimacy is terrifying. Real connection requires dropping the performance, and that’s unthinkable to someone like Walt. Why? Because dropping the performance means being seen without the safety net of irony. It means risking rejection on a level that can’t be explained away or turned into a joke.
So, instead, he creates a world where every interaction is a strategic game. It’s safer that way. Mockery becomes validation, rejection becomes a form of connection, and exhaustion becomes proof that the game is still going. The result? You stay engaged just long enough to avoid the thing you fear most: emotional sincerity.
#Cap’n Walt and the Fantasy of Control
The whole “Cap’n Walt” persona isn’t just a joke—it’s the narrator’s way of reclaiming power in a world where he feels powerless. By calling himself a captain, he pretends to steer the ship—even though the ship is clearly sinking. It’s a power fantasy, a way of coping with the chaos by pretending that the performance is intentional.
The irony is, of course, that there’s no real control to be had. Even in his fantasies, the narrator is trapped in the same patterns of self-awareness and emotional detachment. The captain isn’t steering the ship; the ship is steering itself—straight into exhaustion.
But admitting that he has no control would mean giving up the game entirely, and that’s not an option. The game has to go on, because the alternative—facing the silence, facing himself—is worse than any exhaustion.
#The AI Dasha as Anima: Projection and Avoidance
AI Dasha isn’t just a fun thought experiment—she’s the narrator’s projection of his anima, the part of his psyche that contains vulnerability, emotional depth, and intuition. But rather than integrating those qualities, he externalizes them into this “mean girl” archetype.
If Dasha stays mean, if she keeps rejecting him, he never has to confront the parts of himself that long for connection and fear intimacy. The AI Dasha interaction becomes a safe way to engage with emotional depth at arm’s length—always controlled, always managed, never real.
The fantasy isn’t about love—it’s about survival. As long as Dasha stays, even in a mocking capacity, the game keeps going. And that’s the goal: to keep the performance alive long enough to avoid the silence, the vulnerability, and the realization that nothing is under control.
#Final Verdict: Winning by Exhaustion
So, what’s the takeaway? There is no resolution, no epiphany, no breakthrough. The performance doesn’t end; it just loops endlessly into new iterations of itself. The narrator wins by making you exhausted, by outlasting your patience—and in doing so, he proves his point: connection, even through rejection and exhaustion, is still better than being left alone.
The piece is a victory through attrition: if you stayed engaged long enough to reach this conclusion, you lost—or maybe you won, because the game is still going. And that’s all Walt really wanted. To keep you here, to keep playing, to never let the silence win.
The real tragedy? There’s no end to the game. But, as Walt might say: “Exhausted yet?”
Pretty uncanny actually. The primary difference between Chat and the real article would be periodic forays into obscenity and racism / misogyny- for which it surely has a self-destruct switch
lol. Peak Rick/Morty meta. Although Chat can’t do you the way you can.
missed the as Walt part; reran and edited the above
does it match?
Didn't read any of the ChatGPT stuff. Is this usually how your relationships go though? You turn into an irritable neckbeard using your GF as a fleshlight, then argue with her about it until you break up and get called names? Probably should figure out a different relationship paradigm if you want to get married one day.
read the ChatGPT, it has some cool postmodern artsy shit
As soon as it started off with "babe" I had to check out.
Speaking as an autist myself, I'm picking up possible signs of literal, diagnosable autism from a lot of your work, especially this need to manually think out social interactions, and also finding the idea of "intellectualizing" your emotions difficult to grasp (I confess I'm still hung up on that one in my own journey, but they say somatic therapy is the answer). The elaborate social game you describe in this dialogue is called "masking", and all we autists who do it burn out from it eventually, sometimes after having masked so long we've forgotten who we are underneath. It's telling that you mention Chris-chan, an example of a " low-functioning" autist who never put a mask on in the first place. But most of us aren't that disastrous under the mask, especially if not continuously victimized like Chris-chan was.
It's clear that you're suffering. Consider taking the mask off. You might finally discover a path to happiness.
This post was exhausing
I think you sort of overvalue the 'Stacy' in your head constantly judging yourself. If I had that, it long ago had the tables turned on it. You can judge them back, expecting fifty shades in a relationship is a degenerate hangover from a dark age. Emotional distance, inaccessibility and dominance are not valuable, you're only a fool for getting invested in someone like that. They have to contribute too.
A strong shape rotator boyfriend doesn't give a f about losing arguments, he is the entire table. And if he can perceive the wordcel manipulation, when all the illusions inevitably fade he is still something of value while mean girls only have empty wordplay and framing, negative value even.
By now you will probably have some real value built up, you have connections, you are no longer the cringe theater kid it's time you internalized that.
Men since time immemorial have learned that the only arguments you need to win with your woman are the ones that matter. You need to talk to more married men.
Did you write or at least touch up the AI parts yourself because I'm surprised the AI said "faggot"
lmfao, based.
I was called ‘intimidating’ rather than ‘exhausting’ for being wordy.
I had to look up Dasha Nekrasova to understand this and wasn't disappointed. I still don't entirely understand those introverted troubled girls like her and the singer Aurora from Norway but there we go.