The patronage conversation is super interesting. I'd absolutely be some rich person's dedicated personal trainer and yoga instructor 20 hours a week so I could spend more time writing or doing other things I'm interested in. I'm trying to work it out so that in a year or so, I can do something like that. I have had the good fortune of not needing to be employed at all for the past year and just get to work on building skills and certifications and taking time to write and do things that are important to me, because I have a husband who makes enough money to support us both and he was fully on board with this plan. So many people think they'd go crazy being unemployed, but my experience has been exactly the opposite. I have actually had time to do the creative things I might be too tired and annoyed to bother with while I'm working 40 hours a week, and I have time to actually engage in things like volunteering and learning new things. It's absolutely freeing. The only way I can imagine being bored in my current position is if I literally didn't have any hobbies or interests. I even started baking, which I never used to enjoy, and I got better at cooking.
All that said, it's been just over a year now and I need to start looking more seriously for a job, lol. I'm starting to feel a little guilty about this setup now because it's been drilled into my head that you should never rely on a man for anything, so that's always an annoying little shadow following me around. I would bet a lot of Millennials and Gen X women might be able to relate to that, which I think factors into this idea of transactional relationships. I haven't looked at the data, but so many of the girls I grew up with were raised by single moms with every-other-weekend (or less) dads, and probably picked up this lesson even if it wasn't communicated explicitly to them. Maybe I'll go data-hunting. I'm curious what's changed in terms of divorce rates and father-involvement since the 80s and 90s. Also anecdotally, the Millennial and Gen X dads I know are almost all very involved in their child(ren)'s lives whether or not they're with the mom, so my first instinct is that those figures are probably better than they used to be.
On a totally different note, because I'm writing this as I'm listening to it, what Ancient Problemz said about being attracted to what you grow up with/around (like the maid giving you cookies and speaking a language you don't understand) is true, in my observation and experience. I always thought about who I've been attracted to throughout my life and usually the "type" is whoever is kind of a constant in my social circles. My crushes in school included just about every racial group, because my school was diverse. Later, my social circles were not very diverse anymore, and I was only into white guys.
But back to patronage and all of the different ways that could look today, I think making this a Thing again would require some kind of policy that would protect the artist, especially in a romantic relationship that has the possibility of ending. Women especially are probably going to be too afraid to fully let themselves be entirely reliant on a man, and like Walt said in a post from awhile back, the guy needs to actually inspire that kind of submission, because it is a form of submission to allow yourself to be completely reliant on another person. But you know, health insurance and not being homeless and all that stuff are going to weigh on women's minds, especially if they are the kind of women who were raised with the expectation that they should be able to take care of themselves and be entirely financially self-reliant. But making this a thing outside of a relationship would be much easier and more like an employment contract. I mean, I guess you can make a contract about anything, like you guys talked about when KryptoGal was on recently.
Also, I hired a personal trainer for the same reason Walt did. I needed to learn how to actually use the equipment, and I wanted to make sure my form was correct. Good thing, too, because I'm also fucking terrible at that stuff without direction. She still has to demo new movements for me like 3 times before I can make my muscles remember it, lol. It's been an interesting experience since I intend to do the same thing soon enough, and we spend half of my sessions chatting and gossiping about our real lives like we are actually friends. It's been a fun experience.
This comment has been long enough. Great episode, super interesting stuff.
OK. I knew it was AI generated (and does a pretty darn good job) and I noticed that the intro song itself was in German when I clicked "play" to see if the episode actually *was* 90% in German, but then... yeah. The song ended, conversation started in English, but yet, the transcription continued Auf Deutsch. But one of the other stacks I read is by a German (in English) so I wasn't sure if Substack had gotten confused about where I live or something. :D
I can't tell if I'm irritated that the AI didn't transcript the English parts correctly or impressed that it autotranslated most of it into German. But hey, at least it's not just me.
The patronage conversation is super interesting. I'd absolutely be some rich person's dedicated personal trainer and yoga instructor 20 hours a week so I could spend more time writing or doing other things I'm interested in. I'm trying to work it out so that in a year or so, I can do something like that. I have had the good fortune of not needing to be employed at all for the past year and just get to work on building skills and certifications and taking time to write and do things that are important to me, because I have a husband who makes enough money to support us both and he was fully on board with this plan. So many people think they'd go crazy being unemployed, but my experience has been exactly the opposite. I have actually had time to do the creative things I might be too tired and annoyed to bother with while I'm working 40 hours a week, and I have time to actually engage in things like volunteering and learning new things. It's absolutely freeing. The only way I can imagine being bored in my current position is if I literally didn't have any hobbies or interests. I even started baking, which I never used to enjoy, and I got better at cooking.
All that said, it's been just over a year now and I need to start looking more seriously for a job, lol. I'm starting to feel a little guilty about this setup now because it's been drilled into my head that you should never rely on a man for anything, so that's always an annoying little shadow following me around. I would bet a lot of Millennials and Gen X women might be able to relate to that, which I think factors into this idea of transactional relationships. I haven't looked at the data, but so many of the girls I grew up with were raised by single moms with every-other-weekend (or less) dads, and probably picked up this lesson even if it wasn't communicated explicitly to them. Maybe I'll go data-hunting. I'm curious what's changed in terms of divorce rates and father-involvement since the 80s and 90s. Also anecdotally, the Millennial and Gen X dads I know are almost all very involved in their child(ren)'s lives whether or not they're with the mom, so my first instinct is that those figures are probably better than they used to be.
On a totally different note, because I'm writing this as I'm listening to it, what Ancient Problemz said about being attracted to what you grow up with/around (like the maid giving you cookies and speaking a language you don't understand) is true, in my observation and experience. I always thought about who I've been attracted to throughout my life and usually the "type" is whoever is kind of a constant in my social circles. My crushes in school included just about every racial group, because my school was diverse. Later, my social circles were not very diverse anymore, and I was only into white guys.
But back to patronage and all of the different ways that could look today, I think making this a Thing again would require some kind of policy that would protect the artist, especially in a romantic relationship that has the possibility of ending. Women especially are probably going to be too afraid to fully let themselves be entirely reliant on a man, and like Walt said in a post from awhile back, the guy needs to actually inspire that kind of submission, because it is a form of submission to allow yourself to be completely reliant on another person. But you know, health insurance and not being homeless and all that stuff are going to weigh on women's minds, especially if they are the kind of women who were raised with the expectation that they should be able to take care of themselves and be entirely financially self-reliant. But making this a thing outside of a relationship would be much easier and more like an employment contract. I mean, I guess you can make a contract about anything, like you guys talked about when KryptoGal was on recently.
Also, I hired a personal trainer for the same reason Walt did. I needed to learn how to actually use the equipment, and I wanted to make sure my form was correct. Good thing, too, because I'm also fucking terrible at that stuff without direction. She still has to demo new movements for me like 3 times before I can make my muscles remember it, lol. It's been an interesting experience since I intend to do the same thing soon enough, and we spend half of my sessions chatting and gossiping about our real lives like we are actually friends. It's been a fun experience.
This comment has been long enough. Great episode, super interesting stuff.
lmao at how many of these comments are from "authors."
rlly gr8 ep
Could use your feedback on my articles as a previous podcast guest of yours when you are free.
sure thing bro, will look today
Is the transcript like, 90% in German for anyone else? Or do *I* have something odd set, somewhere?
lol it is AI generated and my intro song might have fucked up the auto transcription
Da war ein schöne lied.
Please give the name of the software for the music lol.
make everything in Suno
https://suno.com/
OK. I knew it was AI generated (and does a pretty darn good job) and I noticed that the intro song itself was in German when I clicked "play" to see if the episode actually *was* 90% in German, but then... yeah. The song ended, conversation started in English, but yet, the transcription continued Auf Deutsch. But one of the other stacks I read is by a German (in English) so I wasn't sure if Substack had gotten confused about where I live or something. :D
I can't tell if I'm irritated that the AI didn't transcript the English parts correctly or impressed that it autotranslated most of it into German. But hey, at least it's not just me.