14 Comments
User's avatar
Kryptogal (Kate, if you like)'s avatar

Calling a "rape fantasy" (which I agree with Silver Rose is fundamentally nonsensical) an "avoidance of agency fantasy" or "non-accountability fantasy" is SOOOO much more accurate.

Expand full comment
Walt Bismarck's avatar

So you’re saying the ultimate female fantasy is to not have agency?

Expand full comment
Kryptogal (Kate, if you like)'s avatar

I'd say more like not to have responsibility.

Expand full comment
Monica's avatar

And I’ve read some research that says it’s a lot more common among religious women. I think it allows them to participate in their sexuality without compromising on the identity that purity culture fosters.

Expand full comment
Kryptogal (Kate, if you like)'s avatar

Really enjoyed this episode btw, very stimulating!

Expand full comment
Silver Rose's avatar

Happy you liked it :) Thought there was going to be comments about me being all over the place and going on incomprehensible tangents so nice that that hasn't been the feedback lol

Expand full comment
Rioss's avatar

34:22 ha! got you there. First time I've seem someone outwit one of Walt's epistemological twists live on the show. And so swiftly too. That's an automatic subscribe for me right there

Expand full comment
Walt Bismarck's avatar

I still don't understand

can you guys explain to me pls

Expand full comment
Silver Rose's avatar

You were saying that we shouldn't treat polling that shows decrease in % of women who say they have cheated as indicative of an actual decline in female cheating because they could be lying to polls out of shame. And you were also claiming that there used to be much more of a taboo on women cheating (and less of a taboo on men cheating). So I pointed out that if true women would be more (not less) likely to admit to cheating now than they were when cheating (for women) was more stigmatized.

Expand full comment
Silver Rose's avatar

actually just listened to it and had forgotten the whole context. It is a little more nuanced as we are talking about men and women's relative cheating rates and relative social taboo against cheaters as opposed to absolutes. Though you do suggest at another point in discussion that women cheating used to be more stigmatized not just relative to men but in absolute terms and so my previous comment would still apply to that. I think I will do a deep dive on cheating data because not sure about some of the ins and outs.

Expand full comment
Walt Bismarck's avatar

Okay gotcha

It would be interesting to see how the data slices out but I really do think that with something like cheating there is way too much of a subconscious repression factor + status valence + definitional goalpost moving to draw any credible conclusions.

I'm not a total nihilist and think IQ, Big 5 etc are useful obv, but imo infidelity is just way too loaded bc there's basically no way to disaggregate the bidirectional forces at play to make a decent inference about deception. It's too messy and multifactorial...

IMO the only decent truth criterion is establishing instrumentally useful and compelling myth with explanatory and predictive power.

Expand full comment
Monica's avatar

@50:55 There has been a lot of studies with chimpanzees and other apes that delve into this a lot. But for humans, the war bride theory doesn’t really track with me because it wasn’t common enough across space and time to have a significant impact. A lot of women just want to avoid judgement from other women for past sexual choices that could lower their status. If the judgement didn’t exist, I don’t know if this behavior would. Epigenetics is an interesting topic though.

Expand full comment
Spuds Chudley's avatar

Regarding AI art, the main reason people aren’t often impressed by it is that much of the appeal of art is in the physicality. There is sex appeal in playing an instrument or drawing in a sketchbook, but not so much in typing prompts into a laptop. Even if the final product is just as compelling on an intellectual level, people will continue to place a lot of value on the way it was physically performed.

People place more value on things if they believed someone suffered for it. They want to imagine you hunched over an upright piano for hours, agonizing over chord voicings. Suno doesn’t create the same mystique.

Expand full comment
Walt Bismarck's avatar

That makes sense. I'm such a disembodied person that this kind of shit flies totally over my head.

Expand full comment